Sunday, March 9, 2008

CMW - Day 3

Alright Toronto, you win.

Here's what was supposed to happen last night:
9:00pm - Slowcoaster @ Rancho Relaxo
9:45pm - Besnard Lakes @ Royal York Hotel
10:30pm - Black Lungs @ Horseshoe
11:30 - Get loaded at the Horseshoe
2:00am - The Mongrels @ Bovine Sex Club
3:00am - Tom Fun Orchestra @ Horseshoe

Here's what actually happened:

Now, when two Manitobans get together and attempt to rekindle their love of whiskey, you can bet that you're in for a bit of a wild ride. What started as casual drinks and some hands of poker around a place called Daleville, I think, ended with disaster. Needless to say, I went out from the table pretty early on after hunting for the bottom of a few bottles, and celebrating not 1, but 2 different types of Irish whiskey.

But, 8:30 rolls around, and I had to stick to my schedule, drunk as a skunk or not. Ok, I'll be honest, it was probably a lot closer to 10 by the time I actually hauled my ass up towards the TTC.

I hop the line and I'm riding in the right direction, so I can be proud thus far. Then it all goes terribly wrong. What was justified as 'resting my eyes for a few stops' suddenly snapped to a cold reality involving the words, 'end of the line.' At this point, I'm guessing it's nearing midnight and I'm in a place where I don't know where I am, and becoming increasingly concerned for my corn hole.

However, in true Saunderson perseverence, I noted that there was still time in the night, and I still had a schedule to at least ATTEMPT to make. I ran around to the other side of the tracks and said 'hello' to my good friend, the train. Nothing could stop me now.

With the exception of course being a bomb threat. Somewhere around Eslington or Evilington, or something like that, the train stops and we're told to calmly, but quickly evacuate the train, and building for security reasons. While initially, I figured this was some stupid drill, or the likely Montreal reason (jumper) my mind was swayed upon seeing 7 fire trucks and more emergency vehicles than parked at your average dunkin donuts.

Ok, shit was intense. The area was lit up with flashing blue and red, which, had it not been such an inappropriate time, could likely have inspired me to dance. I had a chat with a handsome fireman (who I'm sure found my drunk ass hilarious) and learned that there had in fact been a bomb threat called in.

So, what does one do at 1am, stranded in strange parts of big cities, while drunk as all hell and missing great music? Why, one should of course introduce themselves to disheveled old men. Not to ruin the rest of the story, but I never did make it to see any music that night, so instead, I'll review my new friend, Ed.

Ed was born in Oshawa and currently lived in Toronto. In Ed's life, he had been a trucker, done construction, and might have even done time. Ed had the kind of beard your father could be proud of. Ed had a son, who was around my age, but unlike me, had to report to his parole officer on Monday. Ed was now divorced from his wife and advised me against marriage. His belief was, "they give you a lot less shit when you're paying 'em." To which he added, "but, the ones your marry end up taking all your money anyway." Ed was drunk, but likely not as drunk as I was.

Ed was also very informative. After waiting around the station for close to an hour, in hopes of a train running south, we were informed that the line would likely remain closed. It was nearly 2am, but I was still determined to see live music. Ed was determined to help me. He got me on a bus which he claimed would get me near China town. Ed was right. Ed will be missed.

By the time I finally saw recognizable landmarks, it was 2:45am. I knew my schedule by heart though, and had faith that I could still make Tom Fun at the Horseshoe by 3. I asked the bus driver to let me off as close as possible to Queen and Spadina. When he asked where I was trying to get to, I told him of my desire for rock, and of some of the tribulations of the evening. I never did get this man's name, but he was not as nice as Ed. He laughed a little at me when I proclaimed with might and strength that I would make the 3am performance at the Horseshoe, and salvage some pride of the evening.

He laughed, because it was already past 3am. He laughed because of daylight savings.

I did not laugh.

So, you win Toronto, you win.