Thursday, February 26, 2009

Can't Win 'em All

So, I've realized that through the course of this blog, very seldom do I talk about really shitty music; traditionally, I seem to focus on providing GOOD new music for you to listen to. This eventually comes to an inherent flaw when you hit two points:

1) At some point, I'm going to find bands that even though they suck, I'll have something to say about them
2) There really is a lot of shit music out there, and I'm quickly running out of the good

Enter the Tinted Windows. This is another string of the ever popular Super Groups bringing together Taylor Hanson (Hanson), James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins, A Perfect Circle), Bun E. Carlos (Cheap Trick) and Adam Schlesinger (Fountains of Wayne). While I was worried, my immediate hope upon finding this group was maybe it would be one of those situations where the annoying artist (Hanson) actually has the capacity for good, and just needs someone rocking (Iha) to show them the way. Kind of like what John Mayer did when he hooked up with Jordan and Palladino.

Oh how I was wrong. So very, very, very wrong.

Calling the Tinted Windows 'a bucket full of assholes' would be an insult to buckets, assholes and the words 'a' and 'of' (the word 'full' and I are still not speaking, so it can go fuck its self). Part of me is still trying to gauge if this is some kind of joke. I think it is a joke, however the joke is on them. I am seeing a man who was once the guitarist for Maynard J. Keenan slop out saw-tooth-distorted power chords for a man who looks (and sounds) like a girl. Congratulations James... maybe one day your penis will forgive you and come home.

Until then, watch the video below at your own risk.

-You'll miss me when I'm here

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


With a name this bad, I don't even need to make a shitty pun about my title. Yes, the band Chickenfoot does actually exist. HOWEVER, with a lineup this good, you can call yourselves whatever the fuck you want:

Vocals: Sammy Hagar (Van Halen)
Guitar: Joe Satriani (ummm... really?)
Drums: Chad Smith (RHCP)
Bass: Michael Anthony (Van Halen)

Like I said... they could call themselves rusted bloody anus hunters and they would still be a thousand times cooler than any band you or I could form.

They played together last year in Las Vegas, enjoyed themselves, and simply decided to keep things going. Supposedly, the name Chickenfoot is a stupid joke they've all been laughing about. However, as time creeps closer to their targeted April release and they joke about it more and more, it could settle in.

As for now, all that has surfaced from this band is the strange video below ending with a roughly 20 second clip which, although brings back fond feelings from the 80's... undeniably rocks one's world.

-Turn your back on good intentions

Monday, February 23, 2009

And he's coming to London

It's about bloody time.

-Try taking the low road once

Friday, February 20, 2009

Evaluate me... GRADE me... LOVE MEE!!!!!

Ok, this is just too much fun; $

Also, apparently, I could sell my blog for quite a lucrative amount. By comparison was only worth $51 (Sorry Willsy).

-Because I can

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Scruffy Past

I've been to a place called Macclesfield for work twice now. Both times that I've been there, I've considered it to be a real armpit of a town that could never produce anything. Yet again I am wrong this week, as Macclesfield has already produced DJ phenom Mr. Scruff.

Known to his friends as Andy Carthy, this 36 year old DJ is appropriately titled due to his scruffy facial hair. In short... I guess the guy looks like a hobo, but he can cut a mean record. In addition to his music, Carthy does a great deal of drawings and animations, some of which are featured in his videos. The really random part though is that he makes his own tea; perhaps the most interesting of all being Chili Mint.

Today he's in the news because although his latest effort, Ninja Tune, was released back in the autumn, he is just now starting to promote it and release singles. Personally, I've been bopping along to his tunes for 10 years, so there's no rush for me.

You however, may need to catch up.

-Well below the belt

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


So, when I lived in Montreal, I used to see posters for Les Dales Hawerchuk almost everywhere I went. I'll be totally on the level with you; my love for the Jets and for one of the greatest players to ever stride the ice was enough for me to write this band off and never even give them a chance.

I'm going to do something strange here... are you ready for it?

I was wrong.

For a moment, let's just take my love for the Jets out of the equation. Ok, let's also remove the fact that I have a Hawerchuk jersey that hasn't fit me since I was 12. So, as long as that emotional baggage is out of the way, Les Dale Hawerchuks fucking rock.

I do recall taking a listen to them years back, however was pushed away by the language barrier. Singing entirely in gutteral Quebecois French, it's difficult to understand what's being said even if you're fluent. However, I feel that at the time, living in Montreal, I was quick to push LDH away because of my xenophobic Montreal anglo-franco divide. Now, living in the UK and no longer having to deal with the inherant dual personality that is Montreal, I'm totally fine with rippin it up to an awesome franco-rock band.

Check the video below for some sweet moves, and also take a look at this live video in the CBC studios.

-Dirty minded empire crowned. Crumble, tumble, empire down

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just a reminder*

The last two days have been filled with some rather head-turning news, so instead of showing you something you've never seen before (and are likely never to want to see again) I'm just going to give you the goods on the street.

Muse is planning a new album for September to follow up their most sucessful effort Black Holes and Revelations. According to NME, they'll be looking at releasing something new in the autumn, followed by a massive world tour.

The one that really gave my head a spin was that after only 2 years, Tool is working on a new release. Yes... Tool. The band who normally takes 5 or 6 years between albums while Maynard makes wine and Adam Jones, assumedly performs taxadermy with small children, will be putting out another release after only 2 or 3. In a recent interview with Guitar World, Jones let leak that the band is working on new material and could be back in the studio as early as this summer. I just hope that this rushed schedule doesn't fuck with their chi.

Now for Canadians still stuck in the 90's, this one's going to make you wet yourself. In possibly the strangest marriage of bands I've ever heard, it was recently announced by Chart Attack that a new group is being formed of Jeff Burrows (Tea Party), Mike Turner (OLP) and none other than the infamous Edwin (IME, and other shitty solo projects). They're going to operate under the name Crash Karma and are currently putting finishing touches on their new album. I'm both excited, and really paranoid that this is just going to come out as over-produced tripe.

-Celebrate Valentines by getting loaded and yelling at couples with me

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Resurrecting a God

So, way back when, I bullshat a little post about San Francisco's Golden Gods. Simply put, they were a fucking force. I bought their album and had it delivered from the US and can honestly say, it's been in my top 3 albums for rotation over the past 6 months.

I was of course incredibly sad when I discovered this band had already kicked the bucket before I even found them. You can imagine, I would be equally pissed when I discovered that 2 of the 3 members went on to form a new band, The Resurrection, which has already come and gone.

Take the skills and power of the Gods, and blend it with some beautiful keys, crank up the soul, shoot a line of big beat into the veins, and throw your head back and scream. Then you'll start to get the Resurrection.

-Take me back to where I belong

Thursday, February 5, 2009

You're going to lose

So, today's pun, I actually had a couple of routes to go. We're going to look at Truckfighters, all the way from Sweden. I went with an image of a drunk dude trying to have a fist fight with a speeding mack truck and... well, you can imagine where that image goes. Alternatively, I just realized that their name could also refer to some future sport like polo/jousting on trucks instead of horses, and with chainsaws instead of lances or golf clubs. If that is the case, then I can tell you right now, Truckfighters are the coolest band in the world, even if you've never heard them.

I mean come on... chainsaw jousting in a pickup truck?

So, the future-sportists formed in 2002 in Sweden. They quickly released and EP, followed by the '05 release of Gravity X and later followed by the '07 release Phi.

Listening to the boys, you can hear obvious tones of Fu Manchu, Kyuss, and the usual fuzzed-out stoner rock brigade. But why take my word for it:

-Once screamed of carnal sin, but now it's gone quiet

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The bee's knees

The first thing I'll say today is that it's about time I branched out a little. Effectively since xmas, I've done nothing but jam stoner rock and blues down your throat, so I'm glad there's finally something a little different to talk about.

I laugh as well when I notice that my ramblings through the world of new music seem to always lead me back to the Canadian tri-city. Today, it's going to be good ol' Montreal that supplies us with a very original, trip-hop, duo; Beast.

Beast is a strange band to classify. From a first impression, they almost sound like a funky, standard 4 piece band. However, composed of a producer and a vocalist, this band is far off ordinary. Often describing themselves as 'trip rock', Beast blends funky hip-hop beats with loud organic drums and distorted guitars.

Perhaps the coolest part is how these two hooked up. They met in 2006 while working together on a project for Ubisoft. Nerdtacular!

-Leave me, sleeping alone tonight

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Dear God...

Thank you.


Now Jordan, hurry the fuck up.

-I'm a liar, a cheat and a whore, and that ain't right