Saturday, December 27, 2008

Shanies: Most Annoying Song

It seems just about every year has one. You know exactly what I'm talking about. A song which is specifically written to be infectious and get into your mind, however all the while making you want to see if the katana will make it all the way from your butthole to your brains, proving that samurai were a bunch of pussies. Those songs which seem to get months of radio play, dominate every single club in town, and become the anthem for every teenie-bopping cum receptacle in the world.

Ok, so this is a touchy subject with me.

While I've never done this formally, I can think that past winners would have been groups like Black Eyed Peas, Soulja Boy, Right Said Fred, and that stupid fucking animated monster thing that they made the Beverly Hills Cop ring tone song with.

This year, there was an obvious front runner. I heard it in bars, I heard it at Oktoberfest, I heard it everywhere and it filled my veins with bile and shrunk my heart two sizes too small. I'm sure we all have tried lobectomies trying to forget about Katy Perry and her one-hit-wonder-please-go-die-under-a-school-bus-song, I Kissed a Girl.

I could say a lot about this song. I could comment on it's lack of depth, it's simplistic chord progression, it's neanderthalic marching beat in the rhythm section or even just the fact that her voice sounds like a velociraptor in a feeding frenzy. However, really I just need to say one thing:


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