Sunday, December 27, 2009

Shanies: Rookie of the Year

We're down to just 3 awards left, and the tension is building. By that, I of course mean that I've eaten so much that the skin covering my belly is starting to stretch. It's a little concerning.

I'm probably going to get yelled at for my choice for rookie of the year, however it does fit all the criteria. Unquestionably, Them Crooked Vultures were the most outstanding newcomer for 2009. Granted Dave Grohl is one of the most influential rock figures of the 90's, Josh Homme has recorded with more people than your average session musician and John Paul Jones is... well, John Paul Jones, however one must consider their competition this year. The Dead Weather were a fantastic new group as well, but it's not like Jack White is a stranger. Chickenfoot had some pretty fun songs too, but those guys have been rock stars since before I was swimming in my father's nutsack.

As a fun exercise, I thought it would be interesting to list off the resume of the Vultures... you know, mostly just to piss you, the reader, off for my misuse of the rookie category.

Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Butthole Surfers, Donovan, Probot, Kyuss, Tenacious D, Eagles of Death Metal, Mastodon, UNKLE, Peter Gabriel, REM, Scream, Masters of Reality, Killing Joke, Mondo Generator, Screaming Trees, KISS, Rolling Stones, Yardbirds, Jeff Beck, Brian Eno, Late!, Mike Watt, Nine Inch Nails, Garbage, L7, Neil Young, The Prodigy, The Dessert Sessions, A Perfect Circle, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, DFA1979, Melissa Auf der Mar and Spinerette.

Christ that took a while.

In short, thank you, Them Crooked Vultures, for using your massive stardom and swaths of experience to save rock and roll. That's right... save it. I said it.

-I'm scared of not being afraid